Common Sense?

When I was younger, my parents left on a week long trip and had my Grandma Clark (who lived in a different city) stay with us kids.  Well, one night my Grandma Clark thought it would be a treat to order delivery pizza for dinner.  So she picked up the phone and called our local Cenarios Pizza and began the order.  When they asked for our "cross-streets" aka the two major streets closest to the home, my Grandma turned to me and relayed the question expecting an answer.  I shrugged my shoulders and told her that I had no idea what the two major streets were.  She ended the order apologetically, and with fingers crossed so the delivery person would find our mysterious location without any problem.  After she hung up she turned to me disappointingly and said: "Really, Roxanne?  You're a straight-A student and you don't know the major streets around you?"  The sad part of the story...I was a 17 year old who happened to live near two of the "most known" streets in Vacaville, a senior in high school, licensed to drive a vehicle, and answered my Grandma with a flighty: "I don't drive using Street Names, I go by landmarks."

My Grandma has still never let me live that one down.  

Since that experience I have really tried to gain some common sense, or at least pretend that I have some.

...And now that I have confessed fully that I lack common sense, the following exchange between my own flesh and blood Walker (is it genetic?) and the Optometrist should come as no surprise to me.

Optometrist: Hello Walker, (insert normal chit chat here.)  Are you in Kindergarten right now?

Walker:  No, I'm getting my eyes checked.

O: So you're not in Kindergarten now?

W:  Nope.

O: Are you excited to go to Kindergarten next year?

W: No..(with a look of disdain) I'm in Kindergarten now.

O:  Oh. (quizzically) Walker, where is it that you go?

W: Well, I'll be going into the first grade, but that's next year.

O: No, I mean what school do you go to?

W: (Looking at the Optometrist disparagingly,)  Ronald Reagan Elementary.

And then Walker rolled his eyes as if the doctor didn't know anything.

Apparently common sense or the lack thereof is genetic and contagious, neither the Optometrist nor Walker could carry on a sensible conversation.

While still at the Optometrist office, I wanted to have Maverick's eyes checked.  The Opt. said to me quietly, "Well because he's only 2, we'll switch the letter chart out with a picture one."  I told him that that wouldn't be necessary as Maverick knew his alphabet but he proceeded with the switch anyway.  

And then the Opt. started to ask Maverick what pictures he could see.  The first picture was of a birthday cake.  Maverick looked at him and said "Oh, that's a cupcake. I like cupcakes." And Mavy even pretended to nibble.  "Good, Maverick, what do you see next?"  Up came a rather disjointed picture of a hand.  Maverick didn't say anything, then looked at me and said "Mom?" like he wanted me to field the question.  So I repeated the doctor, "Maverick what's that a picture of?"  And after a few more seconds of silence the Opt. asked him, "Is that a picture of a hand?"  Maverick responded with eyebrows cocked and with slow annunciation, looking the doctor eye-to-eye, insulting the doctor's intelligence and his so-called pictures "No, that's not a hand." 

I laughed.  The Optometrist, realizing that Maverick would not secede from the fact that the pictures were not sufficient enough for response, and that the doctor's questions were for amateurs, then changed the eye-chart from the pictures back to the letters and Maverick rattled off the eye chart like a seasoned pro.  

While I was paying for the exams, I overheard the Optometrist whisper to the Receptionist on the other side of the desk, "I didn't believe her with the alphabet thing, that kid seriously knew his letters and wanted nothing to do with the pictures." And he began to chuckle.

If only the doctor had the common sense enough to believe me; he wouldn't have given Maverick the fodder to ridicule his practices.

My kids have always loved to "be free" while at home and take every chance they get to disrobe on the premises.  We've initiated the rule that they must keep underwear on at all times, but since the kids are getting older (Aubrey's not the problem by the way,) I'm trying to break them of this exhibitionist habit.  I'm constantly admonishing them to keep their clothing on, as it often makes for really embarrassing situations while opening the front door (Maverick has pamper rushed a few delivery men) and also of course for modesty's sake!  

Well earlier, as I finished unbagging the groceries, Walker came traipsing in without his shirt on.  I knew he had it on before the unbagging began, so I asked him, "Walker, why did you take your shirt off?"  His response:  "Because that's what boys do."  And he casually walked away.

Of course, why didn't I use any common sense?